Submit Your Stories!

These stories are submitted by our guests and members. They are for your enjoyment and benefit. These stories may or may not reflect the views of HIV Anonymous.

We are interested in hearing about your personal experiences connected with HIV.  Your personal story will be considered for publication in the second edition of the HIV Anonymous Positive Attitudes Book and future web-articles.  Your story can make the difference.

BEING HIV POSITIVE IS NOT THE END OF LIFE

I am a 41 year old woman.  I am an Auditor by profession. I got married in 1978 and was blessed with a baby girl that same year. In 1984 we had another child and it was a baby boy and those are my only children.

From 1984 I had marital problems with my husband until 1990 when I left our home with my kids because my husband was physically abusing me. The last blow that caused me to leave was when he hit me while I was driving and I had to jump out of the car while it was moving. This happened in the presence of my kids. The abuse had been going on for some time at one time he actually brought out a knife to cut me; fortunately his brother who lived nearby came to the rescue.

I left him on the 4^th of November 1990. He had been having an affair with another woman and the woman had given birth to a baby girl in 1988. I only got to know about the child after I had left.

When I left my husband I went to seek refuge at my parents home. My husband followed me. My mother even tried to talk to me to get back with him but I could not stand the abuse anymore. On the 8^th of November 1990, that was four days later after I had left our home, my husband was suspended from work, meaning that he was no longer employed. Since I had left, he had no money to pay for rent he moved into our stand that we were starting to build and stayed there. At that time he had separated with the other woman.

My husband was not academically qualified so he could not get another job. He tried to get me to stay with him but I refused because I believed that he could start abusing me again since he had done it before. While I was staying with my parents they started giving me pressure to go back to my husband but I refused. Instead I looked for alternative accommodation with my children and moved out of my parents’ house.

After two years of separation with my husband the woman he had a child with moved in with him. I raised my children on my own since the father was unemployed. The eldest is now 24 years and married, the younger one is doing his form six and is 18 years old.

After my husband stayed with his girlfriend for fours years they had another child--a boy, however the child was not healthy the child was always ill. The child passed away in 1996. After a few months of the child’s death the mother would fall sick at times and get better and then in March 1997 the mother passed away.

My husband was left with the first child he had with that woman. He also became sick at times but he would get well until he became seriously ill in July 1999 and he passed away on the 22^nd of July 1999. The child is now staying with his brother. Fortunately enough the child is very intelligent and was given sponsorship that will assist in her education until she completes her education at university level.

When all this was happening I was living a happy and healthy life with my children. In March 2001 I fell ill and I was admitted in hospital. I was diagnosed with TB. I was treated for 8 months and was healthy again. In April 2002 I fell ill again and when I went to see my doctor he asked me if I could be tested for HIV. I never hesitated, I agreed and went for tests. I went back to my doctor after seven days to get the results. I was told that I was HIV positive. I asked my doctor what I should do he advised me to immediately start taking anti-retroviral drugs. He gave me a prescription I had no idea how much they would cost the doctor had not warned of the cost. When I got the pharmacy and was given the price I was shocked and very devastated. The price was beyond my reach and I had no how I would raise the money for the drugs. This made even more stressed. I would cry all night. I had no one to talk to, I had sleepless nights, I disowned my friends even the man I was having a relationship with. I did not want to see or talk to my friends; I did not know what to do. I just prayed to God to give me courage. I told my daughter about the results, I expected her to disown me but however my daughter was very supportive. She booked me for HIV counseling at The Center and she told other people at her workplace. All these people she told came and I got counseling from them and these people were very encouraging. They gave another view of life I had thought my life had ended.

My daughter and her husband decided to leave where they were staying and they came to stay with me. They are looking after me and giving all the assistance I require. Although at times they do not have enough money for my drugs because they are expensive, but they always find means and ways to get them for me. Every month we need $1200.00 to buy the drugs and food for me because I am on a special diet, and also look after their family they have two children.

Ever since I was diagnosed being HIV positive I am living a positive and healthy life. I am going to work, I pray to God day and night that one day a cure will be found and that more and more people should come out in the open about their status and live positively.

I am seeking support from your organization in the form of literature, telling people about my status at any workshops that you hold, I want to tell the whole world that being HIV positive is not the end of life, life goes on.

My contact details are as follows:

Constance Kachuta
3-31^st Avenue
Mabelreign
Harare, Zimbabwe

Tel: 263- 4-732695-9 (B)

 263-11-728517 (cell)

Understanding HIV/AIDS

When it comes to how we view HIV/AIDS, the most visible is the fear, illness, disease and death  tolls. What we don't see, are the great numbers of individuals infected with the HIV virus, living! We don't see or hear about the countless individuals who have been infected, who are not using HIV drug intervention. We must not, we can not, discount the ability of individuals to have a positive impact and create wellness, using every available means to combat the HIV virus.

From the beginning when HIV first hit the gay community, no treatment, meant people went into action and sought out alternative therapies and supplements and created a network. A network for wellness! Many individuals who have tested positive, and many who have never been tested, but are sure they would test positive, have never taken HIV/AIDS drugs. Taking responsibility for their life and health, has been overwhelmingly effective. Out of a probable 17 years living with the HIV virus in my body, I have gone without drug treatments for 13 of those years. But we don't see or hear this side! We also miss seeing and hearing about individuals engaged in drug treatments, who go off their medications for months and even years.

Recognizing the ability of the body to heal, promoted many to choose to combat HIV in a non medical
direction. Often times people were effective in preventing illness and disease for years, before drug
intervention was ever necessary. Time allowed, because being infected with HIV does not mean instant illness, instant death! Others have gone on living, never having any sign of HIV/AIDS related opportunistic infections, illness or disease. Some, although they test positive, there has never been any virus replicated in their body. Those who are on drug treatments, have learned to address the importance of diet, exercise, alternative therapies and supplements, mind, body, spirit. Living life and living years, 20 years for many, with more to come!

So much fear has been created around HIV infection and AIDS. The camouflage uniforms worn in the
army, disguise and hide, so not to draw attention, able to blend in. The fear associated with HIV/AIDS
has kept us in the dark. Many fear loosing their family, friends, home and job, causing people to hide
the fact they have been infected with the HIV virus. So no one can see, hear, or know the truths of those living with HIV and AIDS. Most often when individuals die from HIV related illness or AIDS, the funeral announcements rarely say HIV/AIDS was the cause, but use cancer, heart disease or any other camouflage.

How can we tell the real number of HIV related deaths? How can the public know and understand
HIV/AIDS, without the truth? Individuals dealing with HIV and all those around them who are affected
but not infected, they know these truths!

Science, pharmaceutical companies, the medical profession and government, have all but ignored
much of what many people living with HIV/AIDS have to say, which is a major contribution in the understanding of this virus. Science and the medical profession provide HIV/AIDS information to the media. The media takes this information and in so doing, does it without a real balance of understanding. Unfortunately the fear has undermined our understanding. We see people dying, and certainly in many parts of the world there is malnutrition, lack of medical attention and affordable pharmaceutical resources, causing countless deaths. We see the fear associated with sex and the need for safe sex practices! We hear about the deaths .We hear about drug cocktails and new medications being approved. We see people taking a handful of pills. We hear about the resistance to drugs, and we visually, through the media, see those sick with wasting syndrome, PCP pneumonia, kaposi's sarcoma , or crippled by neuropathy.

What is alarming about this situation is the medical profession holds the HIV virus responsible for any and all illness when a patient is diagnosed infected with HIV, using the excuse that a condition is HIV related. It is because of this rampant over diagnosis that little or no search is undertaken for what is causing the health problem. Many have died, many suffered greatly due to mis-diagnosis or no diagnosis. Other diseases occur, and with a condition in progress or out of control and very little attention given it, this allows for many suffering and dying. Not from HIV, but from an invasion of bacteria, fungi, viruses and cancers, unaware to those not looking.

We don't see individuals living a happy and full life, whether it be with or without drug treatments. And we don't see it because the fear has people afraid to talk about HIV/AIDS or disclose they have been infected. So we don't have people coming forward to tell their side of HIV/AIDS. How are we going to get people to come forward when the stigma attached to HIV/AIDS has created so much fear. People are hiding their HIV infection! This is likened to the early days of cancer, hiding the fact, only whispering the C word! Everyone who develops cancer does not die, it makes no sense to believe everyone who is infected with HIV will get sick or die either! We don't see those who get sick but benefit from the drugs and have their health restored, many returning to the work force. We don't see or hear about individuals who test positive for HIV or have AIDS, in relationships, falling in love. We don't see the many relationships where one partner is infected and one is not, and the partner who is negative, is not infected.

The public needs to understand HIV and let go of the fear, each person taking part in a global prevention strategy. These days pharmaceutical resistance is evident, with HIV, not only is a person infected with a strain or possible multiple strains, but along with it, comes the possibility of resistance to all the drugs the infected individual has taken.

We don't know how each person will react to HIV infection. We need to put money back into wellness! We must not wane from our efforts in safe sex education, prevention, and research. Never was it more important to keep up our efforts, creating less toxic and affordable drugs, and providing proper health care including alternative therapies and supplements.

With proper awareness and education, we can go about living our lives responsibly, " showing up for life", without fear. Not afraid of talking about HIV/AIDS or conversations about safe sex.

Letting go of the fear, we can all talk to our family, friends and co-workers we discuss our personal lives with. Our employer can know health related information. And, if need be, we can ask for help and receive help! We can also eliminate false perceptions and judgments due to shear ignorance. There is more power in people knowing the truth, than there ever was in the fear and hiding! A shift in perception is nothing short of a Miracle!

        e-mail Brad at bradford@vancouverbc.net